If 2/3 of Sellers Only Call One Agent, You’d Better Be Upstream

By Mark Hughes | Real Estate Agent Roadmap

Reality Check: Most Agents Never Get the Call

According to the National Association of Realtors, two-thirds of home sellers hire the first agent they speak with. Not the best agent. Not the most experienced. Not the cheapest. Just the first one they talk to.

So if you’re waiting until someone is ready to list—sending postcards, running Facebook ads, watching your email open rates—you’re already late to the party.

By the time a seller hits Zillow, reads a postcard, or asks a neighbor for a recommendation, they’ve already had an agent in mind. The relationship has already been decided.

This article is about how to be that agent. And not by chasing every shiny new tool or cold lead—but by getting upstream. Long before the listing is even a thought.

What Does “Upstream” Actually Mean?

Being upstream means being part of a person’s life before they’re a prospect. Before they’re a lead. Before they even know they need a real estate agent.

It means you’re not competing in a sea of other agents shouting “Pick me!” You’re the quiet, confident presence who’s already in their head and heart.

Let’s compare:

Agent Downstream:

• Competes for leads

• Responds to Zillow requests

• Sends mass postcards and waits

• Fights for attention at listing presentations

Agent Upstream:

• Gets the first (and only) call

• Already trusted

• Doesn’t pitch, just serves

• Often bypasses the competition completely

Upstream is where the money is. And almost nobody’s fishing there.

True Story: The No-Listing Presentation Listing

One of my coaching clients, Susan, is a great example. She’s consistent—not flashy—and focuses on building real relationships.

Three years ago, she helped her kid’s soccer coach buy a small condo. Since then, she:

• Sent a birthday card every year

• Commented on their Facebook posts occasionally

• Delivered a pumpkin during her annual fall drop-offs

When they decided to sell and move up, they didn’t interview agents. They didn’t even mention the move until it was already happening.

They just called Brenda and said, “Hey—we’re ready to sell. Can you come by and help us figure out next steps?”

She never gave a listing presentation. She never competed.

She just showed up—because she had always been showing up.

Why Most Agents Don’t Go Upstream (And Why That’s Good News)

Let’s face it: upstream work isn’t glamorous. It’s not immediate. And there’s no flashy Instagram metric or Zillow dashboard to reward your effort.

It requires:

• Patience

• Thoughtfulness

• Systems

• A long-game mindset

Which is why most agents don’t do it.

They’d rather chase 100 cold leads than build 10 deep relationships.

That’s your edge.

Where others avoid the work, you get to win without ever competing.

5 Real-World Strategies to Get (and Stay) Upstream

Here’s how to actually live upstream—consistently, efficiently, and authentically:

1. Create a Warm Watch List

Think of it like “lead scoring,” but for life moments.

Make a list of everyone in your sphere who’s ever said something like:

• “We’ve thought about moving someday.”

• “Once the kids graduate…”

• “We’d love to retire in a few years.”

Then tag them in your CRM or set up a quarterly reminder. Send them:

• Relevant articles

• Notes when a neighbor lists or sells

• Friendly check-ins (“Thought of you when I saw this house!”)

Don’t sell. Just stay known.

2. Build a Homeowner Value Series

Send a monthly email or printed newsletter with real homeowner value—not salesy fluff.

Ideas:

• 3 Tips for Saving on Summer Cooling

• Local Vendor Spotlight (roofers, plumbers, etc.)

• Home Maintenance Reminders

• Real Property Tax Basics

• Local Event Invitations

Pro move? Include a short personal note at the top or attach a hand-written postcard once a quarter. Human > automation.

3. Host Life-Stage Conversations

Invite people to “non-sales” conversations:

• Downsizing Q&A

• First-Time Investment Property 101

• Preparing to Age in Place

• Multi-Gen Living Tips

These micro-events position you as the expert before anyone knows they’ll need one.

You become the resource—not the pitch.

4. Celebrate Life More Than Closings

If you only show up with champagne at the close, you’re missing all the moments that matter more.

Instead:

• Send baby gifts

• Celebrate promotions

• Mail pet birthday cards

• Show up with flowers “just because”

Be the agent who isn’t transactional.

Be the friend who happens to sell real estate.

5. Adopt the Ninja “50 Conversations a Week” Rule

(Ok, start with 10)

Pick any 10 people in your world—past clients, neighbors, friends—and reach out each week with no agenda.

Just to say hi. To catch up. To offer help.

Examples:

• “Saw this article on backyard ADUs and thought of you.”

• “Your garden looks amazing. Hope you’re well!”

• “Do you still need a window guy? I’ve got a great one.”

You’ll be amazed how many listing conversations start just from showing up with no strings.

Upstream is a Mindset—Not a Marketing Plan

You don’t need to spend thousands or be a social media wizard to own space upstream.

You need to:

• Pay attention

• Show up early

• Stay in touch often

• Add value always

It’s less of a strategy and more of a lifestyle.

And when you live this way?

You never have to “convert” anyone.

They’re already yours.

Agent Challenge: Build Your Upstream Strategy

Let’s turn this into action. This week:

✅ Make your “Just Thinking About It” Watch List (50+ names)

✅ Create a recurring quarterly check-in system (use your CRM or calendar)

✅ Choose one homeowner value message to send this month

✅ Reach out to 3 people just to say hi—no pitch

Do that every week, and you’ll be the first call—not just an option.

Final Word: The First Call is Earned in Advance

If 2 out of 3 sellers only call one agent… the one they trust, the one who’s stayed close, the one who’s always been there…

Then you’d better be upstream.

Because once the downstream scramble starts?

It’s already too late.

Mindset:

"The meaning of life is to give life meaning."

  - Ken Hudgins

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